If you've been a reader for awhile you know that my dogs are my children.  My furbabies.  A huge chunk of who I am.

Unfortunately that chunk became a little smaller today.  Rob and I had to make the most heart-wrenching decision.  A decision we never wanted to or expected to make.

Recently Klutch our 1 year old mix puppy (pit/lab is what we have been going with) developed aggression towards our 3 year old boxer Piston.  For the past two weeks or so Klutch has been directing his growls at Piston and the growling has escalated to full on dog fights multiple times.  Two weeks ago I was sitting in a recliner right next to them when one broke out and since I was close enough I got a busted lip in the process.  Since then the growling has escalated multiple times.

Yesterday was when Rob and I reached the breaking point.

After an afternoon dog fight I was already on edge as they sat across the room from each other with Klutch side-eyeing Piston's every movement.  When Rob got home.. we were all excited.. but somehow another dog fight happened.  This one left Piston bleeding and we knew right then we had no choice in the matter anymore.

Klutch went into his kennel and the longest night of my life ensued.  Piston cried. Klutch cried.  I cried.  In fact I am pretty sure I have cried more in the past week then I ever thought possible.  By 10:30 the next morning I was defeated.

We loaded Klutch up and took him to his new home.  Unfortunately it's a shelter.  It's not with us.  And since he has shown aggression it is hard telling if he will ever make it out of said shelter.

My heart breaks thinking about it.  I feel guilt for not being able to provide him a stable home.  I feel sad that his future is so uncertain.  I feel like I just lost a child and I don't know how to cope with this or how long it will take for me to "feel better".

But I know deep down we ultimately made the right decision.  I can sleep a little easier knowing that Piston is safe.  I am safe. Rob is safe. Baby G is safe.  And somewhere Klutch is safe.

I pray he finds his forever home.  I am holding fast to the notion that everything happens for a reason.  God will protect my sweet furchild and lead him into a better situation.

I just know without a doubt that hands down that is the most difficult and heart-wrenching decision I hope we ever have to make.  Rob has been my rock through this.  My parents have comforted me from long distance.  My sweet baby boy that has been through everything with me, has smothered me at just the right moments.

And I know I will be okay and more than anything somehow Klutch will be okay.