((I know technically there is one day left in 2011.. but seeing as how my sister and one of her friends decided about an hour ago that they are for sure coming to hang out here tomorrow night.. I'm not sure I will be sitting much tomorrow.))

This year has not always been cheery, beautiful or spectacular as it should be.  But given the circumstances (as I find myself saying more often than not..) it was a success.

I learned a lot about myself like you do each year you grow older.  As Rob and I grew in our marriage, I learned more about being a parent, friend, daughter, sister, in-law and employee.  I'd say I've successfully fallen into my roles (for the most part) by now.  Life is a learning process, and while I can say it's been a successful growth opportunity, I also feel like it is never a done deal..

This year has taught me many things about myself:

-I am strong.  When I have to be.  When I have no choice but to be strong for the dog, or my husband, then I can do it.  With Rob deployed it wasn't an option to be a strong woman for my family, it was life.. there were no choices.

-Sometimes I have very little patience.  Although I am sure some of my family (cough Dad) would say that this has ALWAYS been the case.  Which may be true.. but my "little patience" was tested more than once with a certain dog.

-I was far too critical of my parents house and how clean it was kept.  It was/is/will always be comfortably lived in.  My apartment is the EXACT same way.  Yes, I try and keep it clean.  But working 4 days a week all day, going to school full time and having my little family are bigger priorities then my apartment always looking spotless.

-I have awful anxiety issues.  This seems to have developed after Rob left.  But I will think all day about the oven being left on, a fire in the apartment building, someone intruding while I shower, etc.  Crazy situations.. but once I have thought about it, I can't get my mind off of it.  It's nuts.

-I'm very defensive.  Of my family. My friends.  Even my acquaintances.  You want to talk bad about them, then I will tell you my two cents.  Every time.

-I'm learning everyday to just roll with it a little bit more.  I try to suppress getting upset and angry as my first instinct.  Granted this doesn't always happen, but it is getting a little bit easier.

-Hobby Lobby is a serious weakness.  Not so much for the crafts, but the holiday decorations on sale so far in advance.. if I walk in there.  I'm done for.  I'm leaving with SOMETHING.

-Being a wife will always be my first job and biggest priority.  No matter where my husband is.  It's a crazy, hectic, tiring job sometimes but it's so rewarding to know that someone loves and relies on you as much as mine does.

As for the new year.. I'm not sure I am going to write down resolutions.  I mean I have things in my mind I'd like to accomplish.  But I'm not going to get mad if they fall through like they do every year.  I'm going to do everything in my power to achieve what I want this year.. but at the end of the day.. as long as I am alive and well.. 2012 will be a success.

I wish each and every one of you a very happy New Year.  I hope it is safe and that it starts out on a great foot.

Always,
Amanda